I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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