every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
