Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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