called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
