Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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