You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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