i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
