Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
