btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
