Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize