There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
...so i touched it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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