Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
