You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
