My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
