just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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