Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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