He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my sisters under your porch take her home
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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