Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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