We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
