i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
