I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
