Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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