im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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