There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
