I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
