My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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