We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize