did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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