If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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