Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I will die if light touches me.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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