And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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