What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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