Welp...herpes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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