yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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