Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
