I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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