I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
