I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
