Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
