JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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