Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
