I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize