Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
