I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
