so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
