if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
