SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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