he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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