just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
