I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
