The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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