my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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