Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
