Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
