It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize