My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
