She said her name was "party"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
