Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
