There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
