I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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