i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize