Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
