so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
