That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
