OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
