winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
