S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
