I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
try to milk me bitch
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